WHY DO YOU INTERACT HOW YOU DO?
WHY DO YOU INTERACT HOW YOU DO? AND CAN YOU CHANGE IT?
We have all come from different backgrounds. Everyone’s family has a different culture; the family dynamics, the hierarchy, the expression of emotion or lack thereof, our core values and even our first political opinions. All these aspects of family culture influence how we relate to others, what we bring with us to a relationship, how we present ourselves in a social and work context and even our senses of humour.
What happens when two people, with very different family cultures, combine to form a relationship? Firstly, there is love, passion, adventure, fun and future planning, and all of these inform how we relate to each other. While these aspects don’t necessarily disappear, they are then combined with routine, age, children, pets, career, financial changes, and life stressors, and in turn individual patterns of behaviour become more pronounced.
Communication can become challenging and dispute resolution can go pear shaped. Neither partner can understand why the other is being so obstructive, or aggressive, or silent even.
But recently it’s been how our family culture and norms affect our intimate relationships and the communication within them that has been a “hot topic” with clients. Why do some of us go headfirst into a conflict with our partner with the desire to say what we need and sort it out and get a resolution as soon as possible. While some of us avoid the conflict at all costs by not mentioning the niggles, avoiding communicating at all, in fear of the “issue” coming up, or even apologising without believing we are at fault.
We have often absorbed these patterns through observing our parents, grandparents, other important grown-ups in our lives or we have been informed by what we observed and experienced, that we go the opposite way. Sometimes a single interaction can shape our patterns and we aren’t even aware of this, and often neither is the other person in the interaction.
By talking through experiences, feelings and reactions, we can gain greater self-awareness and insights into our behaviour and how we communicate, and the impact this can have on another person. Via this self-awareness, we can modify how we communicate, and we can also understand another person more than we have previously. We can learn to make our intentions clearer and be more empathetic to the impact our words and actions can have on another person.
If you find communicating with your partner, friend or family members tricky at times, and the impact of a conversation is hard to shake off, or you think it is time you give yourself permission to be heard, give me a call and let’s talk in person in Annerley, or via ZOOM no matter where you are (I have a number of clients interstate)
Give me a call on 0434142093 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.